Help your child cope with failure

Your Child and Teen
Help your child cope with failure

We all fail at something, sometime. And failing can be the hardest when you are a child.

In our developing years, we want to be the best, do the best and always succeed at every endeavor. It can be very hard for a child or adolescent to accept when he doesn't get the best grades, have the most friends or get picked for the football team.

Here are some coping strategies that can be helpful in assisting your child get through tough experiences:

  • Encouragement. Parents can turn a negative experience for their child into a more positive one strictly with their words. Positive reassurance and statements like, “You are still the best to me!” can go a long way in a child’s life.

  • Acknowledge the importance to your child.  Statements such as, “Better luck next time,” or “It was not meant to be,” can make a child feel not heard. Validating words like,“ This was really important to you,” and “ You worked really hard at that,” can make the child feel validated.

  • Offer to help. Time spent with your child helping her to flourish in her interests can be beneficial to self-esteem. Also, a positive family memory can be made in helping your child grow in what she wants to pursue.

  • Provide a stable ground. Letting your child know that you are always there for him will provide him with a feeling of safety and security.  

  • Everyone makes mistakes.  You can help your child by telling her that everyone sometimes does the wrong thing or does not make the right choice. Sometimes just hearing these words will  make him know that he is not a horrible person because of his mistakes or failure to accomplish something.

We all know that failures happen, but this does not have to make us believe that we cannot try again.